Spoof (Advanced)




Dick was a clever boy, but his parents were poor , so he had to work in his spare time in during his holidays to pay for his education . In spite of this, he managed to get to the university, but it was so expensive to study there that during the holidays he found it necessary to get two job at the same time so as to earn enough money to pay for his studies.

SPOOF ( MAPEL KLS XI )

Fixing the Headstone

Once, there were two men walking home after a Halloween party. They decided to take a
shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were
startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of
the headstones.
“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death,
we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”
“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

QUESTIONS :

1. How many men were walking through the cemetery?
    a. Two men
    b. Three men
    c. Four men
   d. Five men
   e. Six men

2. What made them shocked when they were walking through the cemetery?
    a. The serene of the cemetery
    b. The darkness of the cemetery
    c. A tap-tap-tapping noise
   d. The howling of wolfs
   e. A man passing the cemetery in rush.

3. Who did they find in the cemetery?
    a. A villager
    b. Their friend
    c. The guard of the cemetery
   d. An old man
   e. The maker of a tombstone

4. What did the old man do at that night?
     a. He made a tombstone for someone.
     b. He corrected his name written on his
         tombstone.
     c. He was just passing through the
        cemetery.
    d. He had just attended a Halloween
        party.
    e. He was just making a devotional visit
        to a grave.

5. “The old man grumbled”. The word grumble
   in the sentence is similar in meaning to …
   a. smile
   b. attract
   c. persuade
  d. think
  e. complain

SPOOF 1 (ADVANCE)

Night had come. There had been a big battle that day, and our army had taken the enemy’s front line and then advanced half a mile beyond it. We were now in a trench which the enemy had dug as a last line of defense, and we could hear them digging themselves a new trench from which to face us in the morning. They dug in the stony soil all night, and by the morning we could see only the tops of their caps and their spades as they threw the earth out.

In our trench, several of our soldiers spent the time after daylight had come shooting at the enemy caps and spades to see if they could hit any of them.

One of the enemy soldiers, who seemed to be a sportsman, joined in our game. He would suddenly put his spade up, keep it there for a few seconds to see whether one of us could hit it, and then pull it down quickly again.  Next time he would put it up in rather a different place. A number of our soldiers shot at it whenever it came up, but none of them seemed to succeed in hitting it.

Then there came a time when the spade remained down for much longer than usual. We thought that the soldier might have been stopped from playing this game by an officer, or that he might have gone off for a meal or something. But just when we thought that we would not see his spade again, it came up once more, for the last time-very slowly, and with a bandage tied around it.

 

SPOOF(REMED 2)

Nasreddin was sitting by a window in his house one day in the middle of winter, when he heard women outside crying. He put his head out of the window, and saw a lot of people coming towards his house. They were carrying a dead man, and the women were crying, ‘ Oh, why are you leaving us to go to a place without light and a fire and without food? It will be dark there , and you will be cold and hungry. Nobody will look after you, nobody will be kind to you, and nobody will love you there!’

     ‘My God!’ said Nasreddin to his wife. ‘They are talking about our house. They are bringing the dead man here ! Quick, lock the door ! Don’t let him in !’

What was Nasreddin doing at the beginning of this story ?

When was this ?

What did he hear ?

What did he do then ?

What did he see ?

What were the people doing ?

What were the women doing ?

What were they saying ?

What did Nasreddin say ?

SPOOF (REMED 1)

A man always went to same bar at the same time every day and asked for two glasses of beer. He drank them and then asked for two more.

            One day the man behind the bar said to him, ‘Why do you always ask for two glasses of beer? Why don’t you get one big glass instead?’ The man answered, ‘Because I do not like  to drink alone.

I drink with my friend. ‘But a few days later the man came in and asked only one beer.

‘Oh,’ said the barman, ‘has your friend died?”‘Oh, no,’ said the man. ‘He is very well. This beer is

 for him. But I have stopped drinking beer. My doctor doesn’t want me to drink any more

 because it is dangerous for me.’

QUESTIONS

1  1.    What did the man in this story do every day ?

    2.    What did he ask for ?

    3.    What did he do then ?

    4.    What did the man behind the bar say one day ?

    5.    W hat did the man answer ?

    6.    What happened a few days later ?

    7.    What did the man ask for this time ?

    8.    What did the barman ask?

    9.    What did the man answer ?